Thoughts from Mission

April 20, 2012

In a recent Schwartz Rounds presentation one of our nurses was recounting her experience with a patient who presented with severe bed sores.  “It hurt my spirit,” was the term she used to describe her reaction. 

I have been pondering that phrase over subsequent days, and I am struck by the profound depth of compassion and solidarity that it represents.  We do not stand alone in this world.  Even though sometimes we try to ignore or obscure the reality, we are all intimately joined one to another.  The pain, hurt and burden of the other has a deep and lasting effect on each of us, just as the joy and exhilaration of others enhances and enriches us.  The equation works the same way in the other direction – my burdens and joys are not just mine, but are shared with, and have effect upon, others.  The reality of this message tends to get lost in the cultural narcissism of our age, but its truth remains – if any one of us suffers, all of us suffer; the success and accomplishment of any one of us uplifts and gives hope to all.

The AMC channel tag line is well articulated – “Story Matters.”  Each of us has a story, a long and rich history, filled with complex relationships, immensely varied experiences and thousands of responses.  The brief encounters we have with each other are mere instances in the opulent, extensive and continuously unfolding narrative of the life of the other.  Yet each encounter is a literal door through which we are invited to enter into what ultimately is the precious, unique and beautiful tapestry that is the life and story of the other.

I use this reflection to highlight the fact that the story of each other matters and holds richness and growth for each of us, but also to call attention to the realization that each of our own stories matters too.  In constructing and communicating our own narratives we sometimes have a tendency to minimize occasions of strength and accomplishment and inflate failure and disappointment.  Conversely, we also sometimes exhibit a tendency to exaggerate prowess and success and ignore some of our shame-filled experience.  Truth for all of us is, however, that our stories are not concocted fairy tales,  but true grit attempts to respond with the best that we can muster to the persons and experiences we encounter in life’s journey.  Those encounters are what they are; we are who we are.  Our acceptance of our lives and their stories, our regular remembrance and reflection about the occasions and emerging patterns of those stories, enlightens and empowers us. 

We are challenged to experience and understand both our stories and those of others as God does – with unconditional acceptance and unearned love.  We need to enter into the narrative of the stories of self and others that we daily encounter within and all around us.  We need not resist such involvement because of defense or fear.  We need not feel inclined or compelled to deconstruct or reconstruct the stories to fit any preconceived or desired model.  We need not wish that the stories be different from what they are.

We need to understand that all our stories will have many more chapters added to them and that we have the ability to shape and influence that which will yet be written.  We need to understand that every encounter, no matter how seemingly casual or random, matters and is an invitation into immensely rich possibility that can both expose and enlarge our hearts.  Stories – each of ours – matter.  Encounters matter – each and every one of them.  Everything matters, and thus our response can only be one of genuine sensitivity and heartfelt gratitude for the gifts and giftedness with which we have been surrounded.

Blessings!

Jerry Kearney